To the boyfriend I had before, gone. Dumped me with no warning two days after my birthday. Yeah, classy kind of guy. I was shit for a while but I’m better now. One of the people who really helped me through that time and was the best friend I could ask for then, is now my boyfriend. The transition from one man to the other kinda freaked me out and in the beginning it was awkward because I had feelings for two men. The one who broke my heart, and the one who was helping put me back together. It took some time but now I’m really happy again.
Ireland was great but the memories are nothing compared to my trip to England. I feel I actually would have had a better long term opinion of the Ireland trip if I hadn’t gone with my boyfriend at the time. In England I was kind of on my own. I did my own thing and bonded with new people, people I might have had no other reason to be friends with. In Ireland I tagged along with Harrison and my friend Noah, Noah’s friend, and Harrison’s friend. I was always hanging out with them while in England I hung out with a bunch of people and spent time with almost everyone from the trip.
It’s because of this that I want to go back to both Ireland and England, but on my own. I want to explore in a way I wasn’t able to, especially with Ireland. I think I wanted Ireland to be more than the trip allowed it to be because that nation means so much to me and to my sense of identity.
It’s been 9 months since I graduated and I’m still not quite sure about this whole “Adult” thing. I’m still trying to put it off for as long as I can muster. I was in a place by myself for a couple months, but then got a two bedroom with a friend from college. Things were a little rocky at first but they’re starting to even out. I don’t think I’ll stay in a two bedroom once the lease is up. I’ll go back to a one bedroom by myself cause there were definite bonus’s to being on my own completely. I’ll talk to him about it closer to when the lease is up (Nov.) so I give him time to find a different place.
I’ve been working all of those 9 months, with a company which makes an “all-in-one” audiobook platform. A little mp3 player device which is one book per player. They’re an odd concept for the normal person but libraries and schools get a lot out of them. I’m really liking it here. The people are great and I’m starting to be okay with the monotony of the actual work. It’s a great place to be and I’m liking this as my first forray into the “real world”.
So over all, had some down spots around the mid summer and was incredibly pissed, heartbroken, depressed. Around Sept. that changed and now I’m back to being pretty damn good.
Let’s see where it goes from here.
So class is over tomorrow around 11. I am so nervous and excited to be going to Ireland on Wednesday. My father is currently updating me on where our Irish heritage originated from. We have four counties so far that we know of. Limerick, Tipperary, Derry, and Antrim. I’m still so amazed by the fact that in the twenty first century we are able to find long forgotten histories. Like my own tenth grandfather. That’s eleven generations, and we can go further. Its amazing.
It makes me think about what the future might be like. What next years holidays might be like, or the year after that.
Next year am I gonna be in my own apartment? If so I’d like to have a party. Something for pre-christmas and also something for new years. A kind of diner party would be nice, I could cook for everyone, we could watch movies or listen to music, I could have a little mini-bar set up.
The year after that, would it be possible to imagine I’d be away from Cleveland. That I could be in some new city finding my way through streets I haven’t known since I was a little kid to go shopping and getting groceries.
It also makes me think about how quickly time goes by. I mean, right now it seems like forever until my trip in April next year, but by the time April is here I’ll feel like Christmas was just a little while ago.
I’m so excited to be going there with all the wonderful people, its going to be so much fun as my final class in Hiram. I’m terrified for this school year to be over because I still cannot believe I’m going to be done. However, a trip to one of the places I have always wanted to go, with some of my really good friends, is probably one of the greatest things I could imagine doing as the end of my Hiram life.
Hope everyone out there is having a safe holiday season.
My family always celebrates Christmas early so that we can visit my grandparents on Christmas eve and Christmas. So today we woke up relatively early and got our awesome presents. I now have a nexus 7 tablet, a Wii fit, and a ton of new books and such. I’m so happy.
The tablet I intend on taking with me to Ireland to help stay in touch with people. I’ve wanted the Wii fit for a while because with it I might actually work out and keep track of myself.
I also got a bunch of stuff that I can take to Ireland in the form of clothes, really thick socks, and new hiking boots. This trip is getting closer each day and I am so nervous about it.
Hopefully I’ll be here keeping you updated on this holiday for me. Have a wonderful evening my friends.
So tomorrow is St.Nicholas Day and I am excited. Since the holiday doesn’t fall on a weekend I’m not home this year for it but I can’t wait to go home to see what will be there. Mum has already decorated the house and this was the first year I didn’t get to go home to help them pick out a tree. It’s scary to think that next year I might be going to pick out my own tree for Christmas at my apartment and that I’m going to have to decorate by myself… Maybe Harrison could help me though, that would be nice to do it with him.
We have a meeting tomorrow night for the Ireland trip, more technical details and stuff from Kim. Paperwork to fill out and stuff like that. It’s gonna be nice to finally get down to basics with this. I’m so excited about the trip. And people I know are all going to the same time so I wont feel odd and out of place. I’m always worried about that, feeling out of place or like I don’t belong, but I think this is going to be better because I know people on the trip really well and am close to them. But it’s still hard to feel like I completely fit in. Who knows.
Christmas is an odd time for me because I love the holiday but it is so hard to celebrate when I’m here because I want to celebrate with my friends and all that but I still want to celebrate with my family too. It’s almost too much. I don’t know.
The year is coming to a close and it’s strange. We only have 26 days left in the year which is so odd. Ireland is coming up and them graduation and then… I don’t know. It’s all too much but it’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. Just wow.
There are so many things going on this year that I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful boyfriend and great friends. I have a family that might be disfunctional but are there for each other. I’m graduating in six or so months. And in five months, I’m going to Ireland with some of my close friends and my boyfriend. No matter the bad or annoying things in life I’m doing fine. Ireland, great friends, amazing boyfriend. I’m doing well.
I guess this is a question I should have expected to catch up with me eventually, but although I have wanted to travel all of my life, I still do not have a definite answer as to why that is. As a child the most travel I did was going to Disney in Florida every summer until I was around thirteen or fourteen when we started going to Charleston, South Carolina instead. These trips were fun for me, Disney more than anything just because every year was different and things were changing, or I was able to ride something one year that I hadn’t been able to the previous. When we started going to Charleston things were different though. I still enjoyed the trips but every year was just like the last and though I liked the scenery and the ocean, I got tired of it all quite quickly.
I wouldn’t say that these trips were what caused my desire to travel, because though I found pleasure in those trips most of the time, I never really wanted to go on them. The places I’ve wanted to go to are places like England and Ireland, Scotland and France, places throughout the European world. Maybe some Eastern Asian countries too. I’ve always had a desire to travel to places that were so outside of my comfort zone, where I would be so separated from all that I know.
So why do I want to travel? I don’t know. Maybe to see the places where my family is from, where I can trace my heritage and ancestry to. Maybe to explore ancient places which cannot exist in the United States because all traces of Native American land has been wiped out for years because of the Colonists. Maybe it’s just because I want to prove to myself that the people of the world are better then those who are in the headlines for horrible acts and that human’s still have some strip of humanity left within them.
Maybe I will never know why I want to travel, but I know that I do and I know that I will, I will travel as much and for as long as I can.